You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
