I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
is it fun? or sober?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize