Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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