Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
