If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
