and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
