I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
