And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
you had me at cake vodka
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
