i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
