Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Randomize
