remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
