North Korea, Best Korea!
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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