She's JV to your varsity
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
