Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
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