just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My breasts were aching with rage.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
