No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
my shit smells like andre
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
