Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
