so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
