I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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