There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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