If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
