Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize