There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
