i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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