His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
