so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
