dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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