so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
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