Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
we're so committed to being not committed
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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