You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
