I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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