why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
