His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize