i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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