It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
