Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
