operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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