whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
