you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
