Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
