Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
