That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Randomize
