its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
