Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize