if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
