K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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