I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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