are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
