whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
