Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
