Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
