He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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