i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
