Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
