It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
