We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
