I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
