She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize