CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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