Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
